It’s not always easy to be assertive and there’s no single best way to express yourself. Find a way that suits you, and that is respectful to yourself and others.

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To assert herself and respect her boundaries, Louise could use the following key words: when, I feel, because, I appreciate, I’d like.

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For example, if she’s invited to a family meal, she could say: When you invite me over for Sunday lunch in Hamilton, I sometimes feel too tired because I’ve had a rough week, but I appreciate the invitation. I’d like you to understand that I sometimes need to rest over the weekend.

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If Louise politely asserted herself and was able to say no, she would feel more respected and less like a “doormat”.